No Need to Apologize

I am a mother of girls. 

I know about dance recitals, princess dress-ups, the cheapest place to buy quality hair bows and the importance of buying a hairspray that will hold - but not stick.  I understand the difference between Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy ponies, the difference between sizes 6 and 6x, that getting ready for church takes WAY longer than you think, and knowing that if they won't wear the shoes in the store when they are trying them on….well….they will never wear them.  Period.  

We believe in mermaids at our house.  We burst into song and twirl unexpectedly.  Spatulas are magic wands.  We giggle.  (A lot.)  We do sparkles, glitter, and we make grand entrances.    

But before you think I am trying to lead my daughters down a completely stereotypical path - please know my oldest daughter doesn't like the color pink - never has.  Blue is her favorite color.  She has a thing for dinosaurs too.  And my middle little, Sienna, she plays Soccer, T-Ball and loves to play with roly-poly bugs….and she will choose to do all of that - while wearing a tutu and tiara.  

They are their own little people, with their own dynamic personalities.  I am trying to help them find their strengths, interests and niche.  

When we found out we were expecting our third girl, I had similar conversations with friends, coworkers and those I had never met.

During one such conversation, I announced Baby Number Three was a healthy baby girl to which the woman with whom I was speaking raised her eyebrows - did a laugh/cough thing and said, 

"Oh, I am so sorry."

Not sure if she was trying to be funny or sincerely sorry for me, I was shocked by her response.  I went on talking...explaining we were very excited to add to our family.  Looking back I was frustrated with myself; upset that in the moment I was too startled by her comment to tell her there was no reason for her to feel sorry for me.  

I would soon get a do-over, because apparently more than just this one individual feels sorrow for my circumstance.  

It happened again.  The "I am sorry" comment.  

This time, I was ready.  

I responded by saying I couldn't wait to be the mother of 3 little girls.  To which the woman responded with another backhanded comment: 

"Well, your poor husband."  

Nope.  Wrong again.  Not my poor husband.  His daughters ADORE him.  They CHERISH the time they get to spend with him.  They want to go fishing with him.  They want to go running with him.   They want to LEARN from him.  They fight over who gets to sit next to him at the dinner table.   Jody and I have talked about this before; I know he is completely satisfied and happy with our family.

I consider myself to be quite open to ridiculous comments.  I hear them all the time working in the news industry.  Everyone has an opinion.  I am totally up for a 'Hope you are saving up for those weddings', 'bring on the drama' or 'time to buy stock in Tampax'  lighthearted comments.   

But "I am sorry"???  "I am sorry THIS is your family"???

Well - I'm not. 

I am not sorry.  I love my family - our dynamic and how God intended our makeup to be.  

Then people always ask, "Well wouldn't you like to have a boy down the road?"  Sure.  That would be great! Who doesn't want to have both genders to draw experience from?  But I would never replace any of my girls with a boy.  Numerous people have told me,

 "You just have to try again to get your boy."

Well…Nope…I won't be trying for a boy!  (Sound harsh?  It's not.)  If I am blessed to be pregnant again…(it's not a cakewalk for me to get and stay pregnant.)  So if I am blessed with a baby in my tummy, it's because we'll be happy to be expecting a FOURTH CHILD.  Another baby to love and embrace.  We would love a girl.  We would love a boy.  And if I never have a son - I am going to be fine…still really happy, folks.   That is hard for some people to wrap their minds around.  But I have learned that although, gender is huge…a child's PERSONALITY is the greater factor in distinguishing who they are and what they will become.

Addie (Baby girl number 3) was only two months old.  I was speaking with an acquaintance who was expecting her third baby.  She already had two beautiful girls.  She was not far enough along to identify gender.  She said to me,

"I just don't know what my husband and I will do if this baby is another girl!  Ugh.  I am just so worried!  We were so disappointed when we found out our first and second were girls."

Perhaps this woman never had a dear friend who experienced miscarriages or infertility to realize so many would give anything to have a baby - gender aside.  She, herself, hadn't known that pain of infertility or miscarriage.   I have lost too many to complain about a double x chromosome.   I feel so deeply for those struggling with that loss.  Losing a baby is emotionally and physically taxing.  A piece of your heart - taken.  

Coming from a family being the only able-bodied child, I know my parents would have LOVED either a son or another daughter if it meant their child wouldn't have to suffer through life with a severe disability.

I don't appreciate the "I am Sorry" comment in regards to my family make-up.  In talking with my friends with all sons - I know some of them say they have heard it too.  (Perhaps, the same group of people going around sympathizing for other people's families.  Ha!)

Before an ultrasound showed Adalynn would be our third girl, I had three different friends, who didn't know each other, tell me,

"If you find out you are having a boy, I will throw you a baby shower."

Their intentions were kind and good.  But Adalynn is not a boy.  And there were no parties thrown for her...as if to say her birth was somehow not as exciting or worth celebrating compared to if her gender had been different.

I get it.

A closet full of pink isn't the best fit for a baby boy.  A baby shower is a kind way to outfit a new baby.  But those of you with 2, 3, 4 or more kids...you know what a newborn onesie looks like after multiple spit-ups and blowouts from multiple babies.  If you are having your third baby - regardless of gender - there's a good chance you could use some new baby clothes.  The take-away here: I have learned it is not another's responsibility to make my kid feel special...that's MY job.  And they will feel my love - no matter if they are the first or the fourth.  They each complete me.  

Life with kids isn't easy.  Life with three girls is no exception.  It's not all tea-parties and manners. They fight.  They slam doors.  They get their feelings hurt (often).  And they whine.  I am sure little boys whine.  But those of you who have multiple daughters know there is something to be said about three girls whining at the same time.

Oh. My. Word.

There are times I can physically see my sanity leaving.  Like a little (let's go with a rabbit wearing a shirt that says "sanity" heading toward my front door.)  Her bags are packed, and she says:

"These conditions aren't working for me...I have to leave now.
There's too much whining."

There are days - I take time-outs for myself.  Because I just need to take a breath....in the closet...by myself.  So I can come out smiling - ready for the next challenge.  And there are days I scream into pillows or just scream out loud...and then I commit to being more patient the next day.  But that's what makes this job so exciting.  Right?  It's in my (unwritten) job description to teach them whining isn't the best option.  It isn't lovely or grateful or becoming.  I am molding little people into (hopefully) respectable and motivated good-doers.  Just the thought of it is...awesome.  Being a mom is such a big deal - it's such an important job.  

My life with three girls is messy.

And I wouldn't change it for the world.  

Families are a gift.  Children are a blessing.  Each of my girls fit.  They are right where they need to be.  I consider it a humbling task to teach them to be spiritually good, kind and anchored in truth.   Goodness knows we could use more compassionate, generous, strong women who understand their divine self-worth.

We need women who are confident - yet not self-absorbed.   Women who are strong - yet sensitive to the needs of others.  Women who realize they ARE enough - because it's how God made them.   And these women start out as girls.  And I have three, who are mine to teach and love.  I am pretty lucky.  It's a responsibility I don't take lightly.  

So bring on the chiffon, lace and can-do attitudes because I have three girls.  And I love it!  

A trio of sisters who will make this world a better place.

Happy 3rd Birthday Sienna! (Pony Style)

She's full of energy.  She's busy.  She's playful.  And now she is three!

At her three-year-old well check, Sienna weighed 28 lbs {14th percentile} and she was  35.25 inches tall {8th percentile}   She's a little peanut; petite and proportional.  No wonder the neighbor down the street calls her Polly Pocket.  She is right on track with her developmental skills.  During her check-up, the nurse showed her little images of a circle, heart, square and house.  Sienna then stood at the far wall, held her hand over one eye, and took an eye exam.  Not only does she have good vision, but Dr. Wilcox was impressed Sienna was so attentive and responsive to the test.  He says most 3-year-olds just freeze and stare at the medical staff.    He called her advanced in that area and says, rarely do 3-year-olds complete the test.  She sure looked sweet taking the eye exam.  But if I was the one giving the test, I doubt she would have been so attentive.  She tends to listen to others better than me.  :)  Sienna is extremely independent, which means if we are trying to get out the door, I need to give us 30 extra minutes for all the things she needs to do 'by herself' to get ready.  She is a bit of a tornado. When it comes to making messes, she has reached expert status.

I love her energy.  I adore her pizazz and spunk.  She gives the best hugs and looks up to her big sister.  Sienna brings a special feeling into our home.  I am thankful she's ours.

Sienna LOVES ponies! So typically, we had a Pony Party for her birthday Two ponies, one with Pink hair and one with Rainbow hair came to Papa and Grandma Wiscombe's beautiful backyard. The children lined up - so excited to take a ride.

Sienna would go for a pony ride and pop right back in line.  I think she went on seven different rides...at least.  

Her Slice Of Heaven.  

She still speaks, in detail, about the two ponies who 'came' to her party.  It was so sweet.  I know we probably have years ahead of us - full of school dances, wanting a cell phone, painted fingernails and latest fashions....  But this year, she only cared about riding a pony with Pink Hair.

Wish Granted.  

My parents have such a lovely yard.  It was so nice of them to let us throw the party there.  And the ponies helped trim the grass by eating it....errr....sorry dad!

 





The Invitations....

It was a beautiful evening with good weather, friends, family, and yummy food.




We also had 'My Little Pony Cookies' with all the main characters, including some of Sienna's favorites: Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy.

When it came to food, Sienna was mostly interested in the cookies.  

Sienna's friends were so nice to bring her such fun presents (lots more ponies to add to her collection.)

And there must be cake...pony cake...of course!  I had a fun time making and decorating this cake.  Jody put the finishing touches on the mane.

Sienna really enjoyed blowing out the candles and opening her presents.  

When I was little, I also loved 'My Little Ponies'.  I was older than three in the below picture, but I wanted a Pony Cake for my birthday too.  Gracie and Sienna have found the ponies my parents kept from when I was younger.  The girls love playing with the retro ponies.

It's the Little Things...Like Pockets

During a walk around Temple Square with Jody and Papa Tait, Sienna became acutely aware that she had pockets in her shorts.  

Glorious Pockets. 

And even better, Papa and Dad had pockets too.  So they were the same.  

She just kept saying, "I have pockets...like you Papa!!"  

It took her twice as long to make it around the Temple Grounds.  Because when you're two-years-old, walking and having both hands inside your pockets...is not easy.  But she had two understanding people who were willing to take it slow with her.  

This Trip to Temple Square was all part of a week of fun, enjoying time with our Family from Florida.  Kerry & Stacy and their three kids visited in August, and the cousins made LOTS of great memories.  Look at how sweet they are! 

We are missing three of the cousins in this picture.

Left to Right: Sienna, Lindsey, Gracie, Lauren and Gavin....or "The Boy" as Gracie calls him.  Apparently when you're the one boy cousin among seven girls...Gracie just calls you "The Boy."
 

They really do have a special bond.  Gracie and Sienna look forward to seeing their Florida Cousins every summer!!!

We also visited the LDS Church History Museum.  The museum has an entire area dedicated to children.  Here the kids, are getting a lesson in culture and dancing.  

We ate at the City Creek Center in the heart of downtown and then headed to the movie Turbo.  The kids thought it was funny; Gracie thought it was Laugh-Out Loud humor.  I got a kick out of her giggles.  

After the movie, it was time for more playing at Grandpa and Grandma Tait's house.  

Can you even see Lauren?!?!?!  It's never fun to be at the bottom of the haystack or cousin pile.    

Come back and visit real soon!